Frustration ...

There are many things that frustrate me in life. Today I will talk about one of them.

Plans: People make plans, flaking on them is rude. Now I'm not pissed at someone for flaking on me, because technically, I believe I ditched them, but seriously. I am programmed. I tend to make about half of my plans hella far in advance, and the other half on the fly. However, I almost never ditch my plans that I make way ahead of time, but I see through what I plan, almost always. It therefore frustrates me when I make plans way ahead of time, and other people deviate to the point where there's no resemblance of the original plan.

Seriously, I made plans to have a quick lunch and do work to finish it by the BBQ at 4pm. However, it turned out that we has a 2 hour lunch, and then were gonna chill out for a long-ass time and then maybe do some work in a non-isolated location where we probably won't actually be productive. Coming from me, this must seem really weird, since everyone considers me to be the one with no work ethic, and its true, I don't, but when I start working, I usually work really well and finish everything I need to do, so it frustrates me when I can't.

Jessica explained that some people are above friendships, that all plans are dropped for them. I understand that, I do structure most of my plans around Jessica and Christina (my two best friends here), but when I make other plans, without them, I don't suddenly ditch the plans if Jessica or Christina are available. They realize this, and to my knowledge, they understand it. Therefore, when a good friend comes into the picture, and my plan is placed in the dumpster still warm, it pisses me off. Apparently (according to Jessica), I have no right to be frustrated with this.

With regard to plans, i would like to bring up another incident that happened last night with Jessica. A while back, she told me she would not be free Friday night when we wanted to go to this party on Friday. Therefore, I made alternate plans. However, come Friday afternoon, and by afternoon I mean evening since it was well after 7pm, Jessica texted me to say she was free that evening. By then, I already had concrete plans as to what I was planning on doing that night, and she got annoyed that I wanted her to join them. Well I mean, for her sake, I will explain: I wanted her to join us at the party after changing and stuff since I wasn't gonna ditch my friend to come to the shoreland with her, so that she could simply change and then go to the party. I figure she would just join me there, but that wasn't okay.

I'm okay that she didn't want to join me, but I also don't think that I should have ditched my friends to go with her. If her will to go to a party isn't as great as mine, thats fine, and I understand that. It just frustrated me at the time, and I really missed her all night. Fuck my morals.

Retraction: Some situations are not what they seem, and Jessica was right that something else was going on, and I had no right to be frustrated.